The last couple of months at work have been a joy. You see my boss has been away in the Zurich office, on the ‘manager exchange scheme’. She shadows a Swiss boss and in turn they get to shadow her back here in London, the latter part of the deal being the only flaw in this ingenious idea. So whilst she was no doubt spitting her venom over there, we all get on with the task in hand with a semblance of peace and normality, rare commodities in my office when she’s around.
Just as everyone was embracing the new and much improved working environment, my boss in her usual, ‘catch them out if you can’ mode turned up ahead of schedule on Monday afternoon and managed to shatter the atmosphere within a few seconds of breathing the same air as us. Seems her PA had forgotten to check the crystal ball that is the boss’s preferred method of communication, and consequently hadn’t organised lunch for her and the Swiss-German counterpart who arrived with her. It was instantly obvious that my boss has also had some kind of makeover whilst being away, as she now sports an uncanny resemblance to the Swiss boss, right down to her tweedy suit and chiffon scarf.
My boss wasted no time in seizing the opportunity to treat the Swiss boss to an instant demonstration of her management style by hissing to her PA to ‘book a table immediately’. All the while the Swiss boss stood and glared a deadly ‘up and down’ look of contempt at the PA. Although the PA got her moment of revenge as once my boss and her sidekick had disappeared into her office, the PA, who’s on friendly terms with the restaurant staff, was heard saying that the table was for ‘the bitch plus one more’.
Once they arrived back from lunch though the climate continued to progress downhill. My boss proceeded to show off in front of the Swiss boss by making ridiculous claims to suggest that she single-handedly achieves the targets, because of course, as she was overheard saying is ‘surrounded by imbeciles’. And it didn’t stop there, as next she asked about my maternity progress with a snort of ‘are you still pregnant, it seems to have gone on forever’ with a sideways glance of smugness in Swiss boss’s direction.
Seems the Swiss boss is no stranger to the bitch-style of management either as she’s taken to telling people that they must ‘bring this file to me’, without so much as a please or thank you. Perhaps we should cut her some slack though on the grounds of cultural differences, although she was also heard asking my boss ‘what kind of f***ing idiot would do a thing like that?’, whilst the pair of them were huddled over a document together, so maybe not. My boss’s response was one of simpering laughter, no doubt her pathetic attempt at forging global relations.
Seems the next few months are going to be arduously long, now that we have a right ‘pair of bitches’ to contend with.