This week saw the quarterly social event, or the “spend time with people you don’t like, pretending to have fun” event. Since the email from the social committee was circulated, there’s been no end of complaints. First, a finance guy said unless he was paid for the after-hours part of the event, he wouldn’t attend. You can guess my boss’s response. Next complainer was a trader, spouting off about “time being money”, both of which he has in bucket loads. Anyway, he always manages to squeeze in a trip to his yacht when the fancy takes him.
Soon the options had been whittled down. There was good old rounders in the park with a few pizzas thrown in. There was deer hunting – yes, that’s right, this suggestion from one of our Austrian colleagues, who obviously hasn’t realised we might be hard pushed to find deer roaming the Square Mile. In any case, this idea was scrubbed from the list by HR after a fight erupted in the office between the Austrian and a closet animal rights campaigner who threatened to pass on his details to her local activist group. The final option was paintballing, a choice put forward by the front-office boys, who’d heard that it was possible to run around shooting each other in a mock-up of an office environment.
Seems some vote rigging must have gone on as paintballing won, much to the disappointment of the young girlies. They’d realised it’s far easier to slope off on the pretext of finding the loo when playing rounders than escape the security perimeter of a paintballing venue.
I was thrilled, however, as I had a business class which gave me the perfect excuse for non-attendance without risk of being branded a “non team player”in the next feedback exercise.
I didn’t miss out on all the fun though, as it seems some of the men in the office might take things a touch too seriously. When I was leaving I caught a couple of them outside. They were limbering up in full combat gear, each keen to be the one to bring back the trophy shot that had been decided on as the boss’s slapped-arse face.