Every January, the compliance manager tries to boost morale by raffling off the company’s Christmas gifts from clients, with the proceeds going to charity.
But this year, a couple of junior traders abolished all sentiment and injected some materialistic greed into proceedings.
So, while the children of Great Ormond Street Hospital suffered, the pair set up a grey market. They catalogued the gifts to be won and set a price on each considerably below market value. They then took advance cash payments for the items, which they would buy from the winners for less than what they’d already sold them, thereby making a few quid.
The ruse was going well, and the minute the email arrived declaring the raffle open, the stampede for tickets started. One colleague, who I suspect might be an escapee from the Half Ton Hospital, tripped over in her desperation to grab a ticket.
The star prize was a Fortnum & Mason’s hamper with an allocated value of £75. Sadly for the greedy traders, the compliance manager decided to break up the hamper and flog the items individually.
The fight that followed when the jar of pickled walnuts was handed out was priceless – but nowhere near as entertaining as the slapped-arse faces of the junior traders.
The pair had to honour their contracts and were forced to buy the items for their normal individual prices, rather than the budget price for the hamper, thus making a considerable loss. Ah, what a shame!